Wednesday 10 September 2014

Short Moments

Bedlam Humour



1.      Those few SHORT MOMENTS made me worried for you -


1.       

Tuesday 9 September 2014

Bedlam Humour: The Old Doberman

Bedlam Humour

Here's a joke sent in by Gina and Malcolm Shenton from North Wales

An old Doberman starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having him lunch. The old Doberman thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep trouble now!" 
Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old Doberman exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious panther. I wonder, if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew," says the panther, "That was close. That old Doberman nearly had me!"
 

Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he goes. The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther.
The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"
 

Now, the old Doberman sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?," but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers for a few short moments, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old Doberman says .........
"Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!"
 

Moral of this story... Don't mess with the old dogs... Age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery!

Wednesday 3 September 2014

Bedlam Humour: ZEN TEACHINGS

Bedlam Humour

ZEN TEACHINGS

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone.

2. Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any.

3. No one is listening until you pass wind.