The Australian Ventriloquist

Bedlam Humour

An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to a local , 'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?' 

The villager says, 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie.' 

Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?' 

Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.' 

The Kiwi gave a look of extreme shock. The Ventriloquist says, 'Is this villager your owner?'

Dog: 'Yep' 

Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?' 

Dog: 'Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food And takes me to the lake once a week to play.' 

The Kiwi took on a look of utter disbelief. 

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?' 

Kiwi: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think.' 

Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?' 

Horse: 'Cool'  

Ventriloquist pointed to the villager. 'Is this your owner?' 

 Horse: 'Yep' 

Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'

Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the Elements..' 

The Kiwi looked totally amazed. The Ventriloquist says, 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?' 

Kiwi went into sudden panic. 'The sheep's a friggin' liar.'

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