Here's another great joke from Ed Goldstraw
My one day of employment ......
After landing a new job as a Sainsbury's greeter, (a good find for many retirees) I lasted less than a day......
About two hours into my first day on the job, a very loud, and unattractive woman marched into the store dragging her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, "Good morning and welcome to Sainsbury's. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Of course they ain't f*****g twins. The oldest one's 9 and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?"
So I replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid, Madam. I just couldn't believe someone actually shagged you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Sainsbury's!"