Thursday 15 October 2009

Joke - The philosophy of ambiguity

Bedlam - humour

Here's a joke sent to me by Victoria Lange of Restaurante Paraiso Parcent, from one of her customers David Reeley. I thinks it's very clever....
For those who love the philosophy of ambiguity....( as well as the
idiosyncrasies of english)

  • One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.....
  • Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  • If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
  • The main reason that santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad
    girls live.
  • I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'where's the self-help
    section?' she said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
  • What if there were no hypothetical questions?
  • If a deaf person signs swear words, does his mother wash his hands with
    soap?
  • If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it
    considered a hostage situation?
  • Is there another word for synonym?
  • Where do forest rangers go to 'get away from it all?'
  • What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
  • If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
  • Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
  • Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean
    them?
  • If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
  • Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
  • If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain
    silent?
  • What was the best thing before sliced bread?
  • One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
  • How is it possible to have a civil war?
  • If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
  • If you ate both pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
  • If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
  • Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have 's' in it?
  • Why are hemorrhoids called 'hemorrhoids' instead of 'assteroids'?
  • Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
  • Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
  • If you spin an oriental person in a circle three times do they become
    disoriented?
  • Can an atheist get insurance against acts of god?
Thanks for that Victoria and David, loved them.
-----------------------------------------------

No comments: