I might have sourced a kilo of material to repair the coronation around the swimming pool - might be arriving in the store today. I hope it turns out okay, the splits in the coronation rather spoil the look. Here's hoping - I'm buying work again, but it needs doing.
Fred Ashford is a ubiquitous sender of jokes. Here's yet one more from his endless supply. I'm very grateful for the contributions. If YOU like the joke, then PLEASE consider giving it a thumbs up on the Stumble button at the end of the post - and a one-word review if you can stretch to it.
The Alphabet rote.
A is for apple, and B is for boat,
We learned it as kids, but now it won't float.
"Age before beauty" is what we once said,
But now we should be more realistic instead.
The REAL Alphabet
A's for arthritis;
B's the bad back,
C's the chest pains,
Perhaps car-d-iac?
D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight - can't read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention,
G is for gas, which we'd rather not mention.
H is High blood pressure - we'd rather it low;
I is incisions with scars that still show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,
K is for knees that crack when they bend.
L 's for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory; we forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, bones that don't grow!
P is prescriptions. We have quite a few,
Just give us a pill and we'll be good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R is for reflux; one meal turns to two.
S is for sleepless nights, counting our fears,
T is for tinnitus; bells in our ears!
U is for urinary; troubles with flow;
V is for vertigo, that's 'dizzy', you know.
W is worry, at what's going 'round,
X is for X-ray, and what might be found.
Y for another year of expanding behinds,
Z is for zest WE STILL HAVE - in our minds.
We've survived all the symptoms, our body's deployed, and
We now keep twenty-six doctors employed.
IF YOU ARE OLD, THEN PLEASE HAVE A GREAT DAY.
IF YOU ARE NOT (YET), YOUR TURN'S ON IT'S WAY!
Fred that's hilarious - probably more so because I recognize myself in there.... Thanks for submitting it.
- Next post on Bedlam.
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