My thanks to John Evans for passing me this joke. Hope you like.
A beautiful fairy appeared one day to a destitute refugee claimant outside the Heathrow immigration offices.
'My good man,' the fairy said, 'I've been told to grant you three wishes, since you just arrived in England with your wife and three children.'
The man told the fairy: 'Well, where I come from we don't have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them.'
The fairy looked at the man's almost toothless grin and --PING!!! He had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth!
'What else?' asked the fairy, 'two, more wishes, to go'.
The refugee claimant now got bolder. 'I need a big house with a three car garage in Oxford with eight bedrooms for my family and the rest of my refugee relatives who still live in my country. I want to bring them all over here.
PING! - In the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a three car garage, a long driveway, a walkout patio with a BBQ, overlooking the river.
'One, more wish, left for you', said the fairy,waving her wand.
‘I want to be like the British with British clothes instead of manjams, and a baseball cap instead of this turban. And I want to have white skin like the British.'
PING! - The man was transformed, wearing worn out jeans, an Eagles T-shirt and a Billabong baseball cap. He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon.
'What happened to my new teeth?' he wailed. 'Where is my new house?'
The fairy said 'Tough luck. Now that you are English, you're entitled to f*** all!!!!' And she disappeared!
I thought it was great. Thanks John.
- Next post on Bedlam
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