Thursday 31 July 2008

Model Faces Four Year Jail Sentence!


A beautiful female model stands a chance of serving four years in jail in Peru for being snapped, posing without a stitch of clothing, sitting on the nation's flag. The flag had been shaped into a saddle and positioned on a horse.

Jail sentence, model? What are they on about? Good luck to her, I say. Can’t see anything wrong with it!

Nationalists insisted Leysi Suarez be disciplined, but she maintains she’s done nothing wrong.
"I love Peru, just like I love my body," she said.

Sounds okay to me. Where’s the problem? Mind you there’s no way my bits will ever be on show dangled over a flag, no matter how much I love my country.

At any rate, the evocative photograph of model, Leysi Suarez, whose usual profession is dancing for the band Alma Bella, was shown on the cover of a national magazine and has become responsible for quite a political upheaval as Peru prepares to commemorate the 187th anniversary of independence from Spain.

"These are patriotic symbols that demand respect, and using them improperly requires punishment," Minister Antero Flores told reporters. "This is an offence."

What the hell is he on about? Is the man gay? Doesn't he like the flag? Does he want a different model?

Flores demanded the public prosecutor record charges against her. Ms. Suarez insists it was actually quite partisan to pose for the shot. Mario Amoretti, a celebrated legal representative, said it depends in part on how the flag was used.

What does he mean. WHICH PART?

"It's one thing to cover your body with the flag,” he said, “but quite another thing for a model to be naked and using it as a horse's saddle."
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This is going over my head. Sod the saddle bit. Have they never heard of Lady Godiva? Good on her, I say. Get on with it! Let the model do her job and model.
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Next post http://anthonyjamesbarnett.blogspot.com/2008/07/wild-boar.html


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Monday 28 July 2008

All things wild and beautiful

Bedlam

Aren’t wild things great!

So there, we were, tooting back to Jalon, from Benissa, navigating the winding road, headlights full blaze, when it stepped out in front of us - a wild boar. No wonder it had a leg poking out at an angle that should be impossible – it had no road sense.

We swerved, braked, and swore, but the wild boar didn’t budge - talk about bedlam!

We told some friends about it, they said, ‘we know the people that hit it. You should see the state of their car’.

A few months later, we came across a herd of boar, a full family of the wild, black and curly. We had to stop to let them cross the road, a queue of traffic – no rush, no panic, no awareness of the fuss they caused – wild things huh! Don’t seem to understand about important schedules like going to a music show.

A week or so ago, I was travelling up the narrow lane to my Spanish villa – daylight this time, when lo and behold, trotting towards me, in the middle of the lane, was another boar – full regalia – bristles, curly horns, black snout – and it wasn’t about to give way to an upstart of a Renault Megane. It didn’t even veer.

Eventually we came to be bonnet to snout, so to speak - and still it didn’t move. It stood it’s ground like a prize gladiator.

I half expected to feel a thump as it charged the front grill – luckily, it didn’t. Eventually I hammered the horn and the sound must have made it inquisitive because it trotted to the side to see what the fuss was about.

Needless to say, I put my foot down and left it wondering what was going on. I’ve decided boars are best left to their own devices.

But as grumpy as wild beasts are, ain't they wonderful....

Sunday 27 July 2008

What idiot is in charge of sound?

So, who hit the volume control?

Who decided to put an idiot in charge of sound quality?

It seems to me that TV program directors need a lesson in sound control. The bloody music is too loud and drowns out speech. The sound quality is too muffled. Every damn TV program that comes on my wife says 'What are they saying?' She reaches for the volume control and THAT makes it worse. JEEZ!!! - bedlam!

For heavens' sake, get a grip on the sound. Put a guy in control who understands that CONTENT is the important issue, NOT music, NOT volume. Music should be a supplement not the main theme.

I thought it was me. I thought I had a crappy TV set-up (yet it's one of the top brands). It appears not. I've just contributed to a Yahoo article where DOZENS of people are saying the same thing.

Come on TV directors and film directors. GET THE MESSAGE .... People are fed up of the sound quality you’re pouring out. Turn down the music; bump up the excellence. Get rid of the muffled shit and give us good programs....

For God's sake, you're paid enough.... get it right!

Next post http://anthonyjamesbarnett.blogspot.com/2008/07/junkfood-fastfood-shit-burger-hotdog.html


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Thursday 24 July 2008

Joining in with rssHugger


I have just subscribed to something quite new, - and I'm advocating you to do just the same.

I've established a reputation for not entering into things lightly, so you might be wondering what I’ve undertaken and why I should encourage you to do the same.

What is this committment? – It’s rssHugger http://www.rsshugger.com/

What the HELL is that, I hear you shout. Well, it’s a scheme to help people who blog, meet people who read blogs. People like you and me. It’s why you’re reading Bedlam, and I’m writing it.

Why have I done it? What benefits are there?

Well, for blog owners:-


  • It raises awareness of the blog

  • It sends visitors to the blog

  • It shares traffic with the community

  • The blog becomes part of the RSS community

  • It builds links for blog posts to help with search engine optimization

  • It allows new RSS subscribers interested in the blog to view the content on a regular basis.

For readers:-



  • You can find blogs that interest you

  • You can easily subscribe to many blogs

  • You can skim over hundreds of blogs to find what suits you

  • YOU have the choice - if you don't like Bedlam, there are hundreds to choose from.

A win, win situation. No cost, no problems. Give it a whiz. I'm all for freebies that actually help.



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End of post - rssHugger.


Tuesday 22 July 2008

National Junk Food Day


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Each July 21st has now been nominated as National Junk Food Day – the more discerning amongst us might ask, WHY?

To a lot of folks, each day is Junk Food Day; it’s normal cuisine. For normal, mildly health-conscious guys, National Junk Food Day is an apparent CHANCE to nobly chew on their favourite junk food.

Bedlam takes it we’re talking hot-dogs and burgers?

Favourite? What’s so favourite about ground-up OFFAL served between soggy pieces of shit? It’s stuff that can’t be sold in any other way. It's unappetizing garbage. It’s stuff that under different circumstances would be piled in smelly bins, waiting for flies to hibernate.

Dieticians will tell you junk food is any food that contains little nutritional value – shit in other words. They are foods that are high in salt, fat, and sugar – shit in other words!

Junk food is all the APPARENTLY tasty stuff dieticians, and Mums, consider bad for us.

So what about the fact that Junk food may be dangerous to your well-being?

On Junk Food Day, you can eat anything you want, any amount you want. Tomorrow, however, it's back to a healthy diet.

National day or not, I don’t see why I should line the pockets of processed food manufacturers who serve grunged-up offal and call it food.

I think Bedlam will pass on that one.

Next post http://anthonyjamesbarnett.blogspot.com/2008/07/driving-test-teresa-driving-tuition.html


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Monday 21 July 2008

Driving her mad!


Teresa Clarke, a 62-year-old grandmother and mother-of-two, has at last passed her driving test.

Teresa tentatively took to the wheel of a car for the first time in 1981, shortly before sometime second-rate actor and sometime third-rate president, Ronald Reagan, was shot …. even before Lady Diana Spencer ousted Prince Charles from number one slot in the media when they married.

Since Teresa began, she spent her time driving through an enormous 20 instructors, spent a staggering £15,000 and had over 450 hours of driving tuition. Despite all that, she failed 12 tests, cancelled a further 35 and had 50 mock exams - bedlam!

She says number 13 was lucky, but lucky for whom? I wouldn’t like to be on the pavement when she's driving past.

It reminds me of a comment made by an acquaintance of mine, who lives in Spain. A number of years ago a fairground visited his local town on the Costa Blanca. He pointed to the dodgem cars and alienated one of the locals by saying, “I see they’ve opened your new driving school.”
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Immediate vinegar face.
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His friend, not to be outdone, added, “Well I've heard from a good authority that they hand out driving licences when the Spanish are convalescing after a lobotomy.”

Not my words, you’ll note….
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Next post - Gas for Sex

Saturday 19 July 2008

Gas for sex?

Bedlam Humour 
















The Shady Lady Ranch

To my mind, sex and gasoline make a potent mix . Wow! Think of the consequence! A mind-blowing experience? Hump then pump? A flash grind - bedlam in the extreme?

Clients of Shady Lady Ranch will get a $50 (25 pound) gas voucher for each one hour's worth of sex services. Nevada brothel keeper, James Davis says his offer of gas for sex is "Rocking along."

Rocking isn't what comes to MY mind!

"We're doing quite well. June and July historically are not big months for sex," explains Davis, who is co-owner of the brothel along with his wife Bobbi.

Not BIG months? Big for what? The connotations are endless. Is someone taking the piss? Is someone yanking my plonker?

It seems not. The news comes from an impeccable source - Yahoo!

Next post - Beer on a Stick

Wednesday 16 July 2008

Beer on a stick









If you enjoy chilled beer during these warm, balmy days then you’ll find this absolutely irresistible.

Take a look here REDGAGE

Next post http://anthonyjamesbarnett.blogspot.com/search/label/energy%20bills


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Saturday 12 July 2008

Energy bill balls-up

What the HELL is going on?

Balls up after balls up, but poor old Joe Bloggs has to foot the bill again.

Spokesman for Citizen's Advice Bureau (CAB), Tony Herbert has said, "Families can rack up huge fuel bills without even realising, because the amount they're paying is actually based on estimated readings."
He added: "They might have a direct debit set up; they might think they're paying their bills. But because they're paying on estimated readings it may not reflect how much they're actually using."

IS IT THE CONSUMER'S FAULT THE BLOODY READINGS ARE ESTIMATED?

The gas and electricity watchdog Energywatch explained that a third of energy bills are estimated and could therefore be wrong. Spokesman Adam Scorer said: "They're not based on real meter readings, they're not based on real consumption data."

NOT BASED ON REAL DATA, FOR GOD'S SAKE. WHAT'S GOING ON???

I'll tell you what's going on. Energy companies are scrimping on meter readings to boost profits, and because of that the bills are WRONG? If the damn bills are wrong, it's THEIR bloody fault not the consumer's. THEY should stand the difference. It might make them sit up and realise how to do things properly.

It's always the same. They make the cock-up and someone else catches the bill. Well stuff you! Sort yourselves out.

DO IT RIGHT NEXT TIME!

This time YOU foot the bill not us!
Bastards!

Previous post http://anthonyjamesbarnett.blogspot.com/2008/07/auction-by-any-name.html


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An Auction by Any Name!

Bedlam - comment

Here's something novel.

Have you ever seen a sitcom where the vendor drives the bid DOWN and thought it comic and ridiculous, think again!

Auctioneer Ben Kloppers, in New Zealand, will REDUCE the asking price of a property in $5000 decrements until the first punter raises their hand .... and secures the sale.

An announcement for the bizarre auction states, "This is an absolute statement of intent to sell."

And it's not alone, it’s only part of a variety of outlandish strategies to entice buyers, along with the proposal of holidays or a car, to be offered free with the house purchase.

Previous post http://anthonyjamesbarnett.blogspot.com/2008/07/more-supermarket-shit.html

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See my other blog http://ajbarnett-story.blogspot.com

Thursday 10 July 2008

More Supermarket Shit!

They've done it again. Just what it is about supermarket managers that makes them so stupid.

When will they realise that changing stock around absolutely pisses people off. We went to Mercadona at Benissa this afternoon. Usual trip, week's shopping, takes us about 45 minutes .... except the bastards had changed it around, swapped stuff, moved things.

I've returned home in a terrible mood. Is it a prerequisite that ALL supermarket managers have amoeba for brains. Their heads must be scrambled to upset customers the way they do. My first reaction was to swear voluably, then head for the exit. I didn't, my wife calmed me down, but I was in a foul mood.

WHY do they do it?? WHY keep changing the bloody stock around??

STOP DOING IT.

Shoppers are creatures of habit. We know what we want. We won't buy extra because you've been imbecilic enough to make a mess of everything, WE BUY LESS because we're pissed off and head for home as soon as possisble.

Get it into your stupid bloody head will you Mr. Supermarket manager. Leave things alone.

Previous post http://anthonyjamesbarnett.blogspot.com/2008/07/dont-dare-have-emergency.html

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Don't dare have an emergency!

Bedlam - comment





Two hours! Two bloody hours!

Okay so it didn't directly affect me, but it's the principle that counts. The lane to my villa is narrow and vehicles can only pass at certain points. Most people understand and respect the situation.

Road Rage Incident

Today was different, for TWO HOURS bulk concrete mixers delivered product to a huge overhead concrete pump feeding a rebuild. The lane was blocked. No one could move. Did the Spanish workers care? Did they buggar! The bastards blithely carried on despite the blaring horns and angry waves and build up of traffic.

There seems to be something wrong with the mentality of a lot of people over here. It's a case of "I've got my job to do". Inconvenience matters not a jot. Emergencies? God forbid - emergencies aren't allowed when Spanish workers are at large!

Suppose you were going to the airport, suppose you were ill and the doctor couldn't get through? I think if I'd had an emergency I'd probably have dragged the bastards from their cabs and driven the damn thing over the wall.


Previous post


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Wednesday 9 July 2008

The Final Reckoning

So! The day has finally arrived. I knew it would happen sometime, it's been predicted since my younger days when Dan Dare flashed through the universe in 'The Eagle'.

Robots are taking over.

Sega and Hambro have revealed their latest, 73 centimetre (2.4 feet), 'must-have' addition to the home. A dancing robot, Ampbot. It does all the usual daft dancing routines like bobbing its head and dancing around with flashing lights in it's head - just like my favourite uncle at weddings.

Sorry guys. You'll have to sit it out. The lady's been taken to the floor by robodancer.

What next I wonder? A robot bed-mate? (Did I hear the lady shout she's already got one - what does she mean?)

Previous post http://anthonyjamesbarnett.blogspot.com/2008/07/am-i-being-stalked.html


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Tuesday 8 July 2008

Am I Being Stalked?

This post has been removed due to outside harrassment.






Previous post http://anthonyjamesbarnett.blogspot.com/2008/07/library-to-play-host-to-local-guitarist.html

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Saturday 5 July 2008

Library to play host to local guitarist


So Libraries aren't just for books.
Jay Mankita, guitarist, will be guesting at the Dormann Library, Bath, on July 18 at 2 p.m.


He will hopefully be giving an interactive musical performance including eccentric, new songs about the natural world, with his centre of attention on creepy-crawlies to support the 2008 reading theme, "Catch the Reading Bug".

A campaigner for environmental integrity, Mankita tours in his van, which runs on recycled vegetable products. He takes pleasure in presenting his car to the kids after the show, and chatting about how each of us can be a factor in making a healthier world through effortless changes.

Mr. Mankita merges conventional blues, ragtime, and swing styles with an eccentric originality.

The Dormann Library concert is made possible, in part, with public funds from the New York State Council on the Arts' Decentralization Program administered locally by The ARTS of the Southern Finger Lakes.


Previous post http://anthonyjamesbarnett.blogspot.com/2008/06/is-law-really-so-daft.html


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